A Bad Soap Opera Gone Zelda
by Legolas Nordark
Summary: I KNOW I'M BEHIND IN POSTS! This was for a friend who I recently got back in touch with. I hope this helps! (Don't pay attention to the ending!) Set Post Windwaker and in the universe of Oarina of Time. Rated PG-13 for things that should really not be mentioned since they are olny appropriate to teens.


Alright, I know I havn't been updating a lot, and Mobius High WILL BE NEXT, but I recently got back in touch with an old friend, and they've gotten into some...trouble lately. Just read and find out. My role in the scenario is Sheik (well, somewhat) and her role is Link.

Disclamer: I have no ownership of the Zelda frachise.

Oh! Zelda will normally use her charicter disign from Twlight Princess, and her prom outfit is the outfit from Skyward Sword, before she is kiddnapped.

* * *

Link was lost. Not lost like the kind you can get when you don't know whether to turn left or right when you're trying to get to the Forest Temple just beyond the Lost Wood or the kind you get in the Water Temple (Nuff said on that one). No, this was the emotional kind of lost.

Here it was, about 5 years after he had returned from Termina, only to find that the king of Hyrule had decreed that all under 18 must be sent to a new school that had been built in the Kokiri Forest. This included the Hero of Time himself. Granted he was 18 when he had saved Hyrule from Ganondorf's rule of terror, but then Zelda just _had _to give him back his childhood. To make matters worse, Navi ran off and it took Link a little over a year to return to Hyrule after chasing that annoying fairy down.

The new decree didn't really matter to him though. He was always up for something new, and this was new indeed. Having been raised by the Kokiri, he had never had any schooling of any kind. Although this was the case, Link excelled in classes, and within a year was in the top of his class. He even won the heart of Sheik, someone who he had felt deeply for ever since he had first met the Shekash. The two started going out directly after the first year of school came to a close, and Link couldn't have been happier.

But all good things must come to pass. During sophomore year Link and Sheik grew more distant, and after winter break, they broke up. It was a sad time for Link, but after some time, (and a bit of time in bed with Malon), Link got over it and agreed with Sheik to just remain 'Friends with Benefits'.

Despite the issue with Sheik being resolved, Link continued to fall. It had already been 3 years since he had saved Hyrule, and by now people were beginning to forget him. His story was alive and well, but as a figure he was fading. He had lost the popularity that he once had, and teachers that had once used him as a prime example were now picking on him to the point where his nights were spent so cram-packed with homework that he was only getting 5 hours of sleep.

As stress grew, so did depression. Come the start of Junior year, and we no longer see the bright, perky hero he was years ago. Link, the once Hero of Time, was now nothing but the wasted shell of a body. He stopped carrying a long time ago, and over the summer had found a way to make an intoxicating cocktail of a green potion, Lon Lon Milk, and crushed Deku Nuts. Normally this would be used as a painkiller, but it also had the same effects as alcohol when drunk, and oh did Link drink it (a minimum of 5 times a day). In short, this shell of a former hero was a depressed, painkiller addicted high school student.

Now, if you think this is bad, wait to you hear what his love-life was like. Like I already said, Link used to date Sheik, and yes, it didn't work out too well, but just because theft relationship is over didn't meen Link is out of the game (despite how wasted he is, and no pun intended). Prom was coming up, and he had already asked (and closed the deal) on taking Sarah to the dance. Granted he used to have feelings for her, but this was more of a pity date, since no one had asked her. Yes I said _used to have feelings. _Don't get me wrong, Link still loves Sarah, but more like a sister at this point. Link's _real_ love is Zelda, someone who he hadn't gotten to chat with since he warned her about Ganondorf in the palace garden after his adventure involving the Ocarina of Time, and lastly that all he who he would think about: Zelda.

_Oh Zelda, how I want to see that face again. That beautiful face so flawless it seems to be hand crafted by The goddesses themselves. Those eyes, those beautiful light blue eyes, Oh how could I get lost in those pools of blue only matched by a blue rupee with sun's reflection. Your long, dirty blond hair, constantly flowing in the wind sent by the Deku Sprout that watches over this forest. And those dresses, always so clean. She may be a princess, but the witness of those dressed exceed even that rank. In short, She truly is the embodiment of The Goddesses, and here I am stuck taking my sister to prom... _

Link finished the painkiller he was drinking. His once clean Kokiri Tunic was now ripped and covered in vomit. Here he was, in the bathroom of the high when he was _supposed _to be taking a test on the history of the Shikash in Impa's class. He didn't care though, All he _did _give a shit about was if he got together with Zelda and how he'd get his next dose of painkiller. Yep, he was a wreck.

Link just sighed as he slouched on the toilet he was currently sitting on. It's a bathroom, he's hiding in a stall, seriously, why _wouldn't _he be sitting on a toilet? Oh, that's right, because this was that _HAUNTED _bathroom stall. Responding to Link's sigh, a hand forced it's way out of the toilet, pushing Link off the stall and onto the floor, causing Link to lose half a heart. "_Please.." _The hand...or whoever it was that the hand was attached to, begged/moaned, "_Paper...give me some paper." _Link just sighed and dropped a bomb into the toilet, flushed, and stepped out of the stall with a bored look on his face as the toilet exploded in a boom of epicness behind him. As Link left the bathroom, he looked up at a clock on the wall. _Only 1:20? ...Fuck this._ With that though, Link left school and headed home early.

Link walked out of the school and into the lost woods. Why anyone would make a school in the middle of a forest that was impossible to navigate and when you got lost you turned into a stalfo was beyond Link's mind, although it kinda made sense. I mean, at the start and end of school, the Kikori served as escorts back to the village, and no one would risk the fate of the woods, so everyone stayed in school. Link, however, was raised in these woods, and thus knew the way back on his own. Within a matter of minutes, Link was climbing the ladder that led to his treehouse. It was a simple 1 room treehouse, but it was home, and Link loved it, well, when he wasn't depressed enough to have the emotion of love. Right now, though, he was too wasted on painkiller to give a damn about anything, and just crossed the room to the bed, and plopped down on the bed to sleep off his buzz.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"...LINK!"

Link jumped up with this and rolled straight of his bed, falling on the floor and hitting his head. He swore a few times under his breath while rubbing his head before looking up to see just who woke him from his...perverted dream about Zelda (actually, that doesn't even come close to describing it). looking up he saw a man around the age of 17 dressed in a blue and grey leather skintight suit. upon his forearms and upper torso were cloth bindings, and he wore a tattered cloth over his chest that bore the eye-and-tear design of the Shikash. His head was also wrapped in bindings, leaving only his red eyes and luscious blond bangs showing. If you haven't guessed who it is already, then let me tell you: It was Sheik, Link's ex and friend-with-benefits.

Link, just groaned. he was _not _in the mood to deal with anyone, especially Sheik. Link didn't have anything against the shekash, but the one in blue had a tendency to pry when he saw an issue, not stopping until it was fixed, and at the moment Link was a walking hellhole, in fact, Link was so depressed that he didn't notice that Sheik wasn't wearing the cloth he usually wore over his mouth.

"Link..." Sheik said, concern in his voice, "you were just out cold for over 48 hours."

"So?" Link replied, no scent of care in his voice.

"So, you almost _died_." Sheik practically yelled, "The amount of painkiller you're drinking is toxic! why you're still alive amazes me."

"Maybe I _should _just die." Link muttered under his voice, but Sheik heard him anyway and grabbed him by the tunic and pulled him close into a kiss. This came as a shock for Link, and Sheik took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue into the ex-hero's mouth. Link was just too shocked to do anything, and just let Sheik french him for the next minute (I mean, who's to say Link wasn't enjoying the kiss?).

"Don't you talk like that Hero," Sheik scolded after breaking the kiss, fear and worry in his serious voice, "I can tell something is wrong, and I'm not referring to the amount of painkiller you drink...It's Zelda isn't it?" Link nodded. "You want to take her to prom, but are stuck with Sarah, that's it, isn't it?" Link nodded again, causing Sheik to let go of link and sigh.

"It's more than that though," Link said, completely sober (for a change) and longing in his voice, "She's all I can think about. I don't just want her for prom, I want to be with her, even marry her and start a family, but she doesn't even seem to notice me."

Sheik sighed. "You really love her that much?" Link nodded. "Fine, then I'll help you get her, but you have to stop on the painkiller!"

Link gave a sheepish grin. "I'm kinda...addicted?" He got out sheepishly. Sheik just responded with a facepalm.

"Fine," the sheikahs sighed, "I'll work you off it. We have 3 weeks until prom, So there's no time to waste."

X-X-X-X-X-X

Over the next 2 and a half weeks, Link didn't attend any school. No one noticed though, The person they were all worried about was Sheik. Sheik was a straight A student, not to mention he was constantly helping others with studies and whatnot, but he was involved in a lot of the extra curricular activities. In fact, the shock that he missed 1 day of school was so big that some of his fangirls that attended Kikori High actually fainted, thank you Sheik for never missing a day of school.

Anyway, we currently see Sheik walking into the Kikori Shop in the middle of Kikori Village. The annoyingly catchy shop music for Ocarina of Time is playing, and Sheik just bought...Lon Lon milk, a green potion and deku mush (composed of crushed deku nuts and grass). Seriously Sheik, You're supposed to be helping Link _OFF _that stuff, not getting him more.

"Don't question my methods," the Shikash snapped at me, "I'm working Link off it, bit by bit. When we started, he was drinking 5 bottles a day of this stuff. During that time jump you just did, I managed to get him down to two bottles a week." Well, that's impressive Shikash, but you haven't gotten Zelda to take him to prom, have you?

"I don't intend to." Sheik replied, crossing his arms. Unfortunately for the Shikash, Link entered the room, just after hearing the conversation I just had that completely destroyed the fourth wall.

"Sheik..." Link said, tears forming in his eyes, "I thought you said you'd get me a date with her." Sheik just sighed at seeing Link there. The Shekash sooo did _not _need this right now. Ya, he _had _promised Link a date with Zelda, but he knew Zelda really didn't want anything to do with the Hero, especially in his current state.

"Link, look," Sheik said trying to pacify the one he still cared for (ya, Sheik still loves Link, despite the fact they are no longer together), "Zelda isn't really interested in taking you." hearing this just added to links tears. "But," the Shekash continued, "I _did _arrange for her to take a mystery person who is to meet her at the entrance to prom."

This lifted Link's spirits a lot. "That's gonna be me, Isn't it?" The hero asked. Sheik just nodded in reply, a smile on his face behind the cloth that covers his mouth. Sheik then payed for the things he went to she shop to get in the first place (yes, this very emotional scene just happened _in a shop_) and the two headed back Link's place, probably to exercise that 'friends with benefits' status they held.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Alright Link," Sheik said, tightening Link's bowtie (What? I like bowties. Bowties are cool.), "Here's the plan: You go pick up Sarah, and I'll bring Mido. You two can meet up with me just in front of the school, and we'll do the swap there, and when I say 'we can do the swap', I mean we ditch the two, leaving them together and then we get you to Zelda."

Link just nodded before taking one last look in the mirror. The Ex-Hero of Time had swapped his iconic Kikori Tunic for a Kikori green tuxedo with black highlights and a black bowtie. Under this he wore his typical white tights, but his dayly leather boots were replaced with special black dress ones. Link could hardly believe that a month ago he was constantly missing school, covered in vomit, and highly addicted to painkiller. Satisfied, and wearing a smile, Link turned back to the Shikash that had helped dress. Sheik was dressed in a black suit, with his typical blue wrappings underneath. Sheik returned the smile, and the two left to pick up their respective dates for prom.

Within minutes, Link was in front of Sarah's treestump home, because Kikori Village is incredibly small. He rang the bell that was on the side of the doorway. Link barely had time to breath after doing this before Sarah was hugging Link so hard that she was choking him.

"C..Can't...Breath...Sarah!"

Sarah let go of her date, now blue in the face from lack of oxygen, after hearing these pleas. "Sorry about that Link." She giggled out, "I'm just so glad that you were willing to take me on a date, to prom nonetheless!"

"Hehe, Yaaaaa..." Link chuckled, giving a sheepish look on his face. "Me taking you to prom. Lets do it to it." _And get it over with. _He mentally added as Sarah grabbed his arm and let them towards The Lost Wood.

The walk throughout the wood was a quiet one, well, verbally, anyway. Link might have been the silent hero we all know from the games (since Nintendo is too cheap to hire voice actors), but he's thoughts were racing. He could tell that Sarah was in love with him, and here he was about to dump her for a date with someone else. Link knew it would break Sarah's heart, but it was too late to back out now, the wheels were already set in motion. Link just hoped Sarah would understand and forgive him.

The two continued through The Lost Woods until they were in The Forest Theater, which was not far from Kikori High. Sarah giggled as she hopped up onto a stump and pulled out her ocarina. Link just smiled, getting the idea, and pulled out his. within seconds they were playing the duet version of Sarah's Song. The two were so wrapped up in this task that they didn't notice they had an audience. When the duet was over, Sarah was surprised to hear clapping. She and Link Smiled and took a bow for the Kikori and Shikash that had walked in on the two while playing their song.

"You just get better and better Sarah." Mido said, walking up to the stage, "Maybe you can give me lessons some time." Sarah just responded with a giggle.

"Why not right now?" Sheik suggested to the Kikori that had come with him, "School isn't that far away, and we have some time before prom starts." Sarah just nodded in agreement with a smile on her face and motioned for Mido to come over. The 2 Kikori were so busy with this that they didn't notice their 2 dates slowly walking away.

"Sarah is soooo gonna kill someone for this," Link said as soon as the two were far enough away, "Probably herself."

"I'll keep an eye on her for you," Sheik assured Link, "But for now, let's focus on the task at hand. There's the final turn before we get into the front of school. you wait here and I'll prep Zelda for you." Link just nodded as a repose.

With that, Sheik rounded the last corner and headed towards the school. The whole place was amazing. It was completely decked with banners and stain glass windows, featuring the Hylian Crest. Above the door there was a solid gold triforce, under which stood Zelda herself. She wore an entirely pink dress that had a gold collar and a blue gem (Nayru's love) embedded on top of her breastbone. Her hair was wrapped with two green ribbons and the rest was free flowing down her back. Crossing on her waist, there was a gold set of beads and a leather belt that was holding a blue banner with a hylian crest. Overall it was an underdress for her, but she _did _look good.

Sheik straightened his jacket and walked up to Zelda, who currently had her back turned to the outside of the building, and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped, obviously surprised by the contact, before turning around. "So are you this mysterious date you promised me?" the princess asked the Shikash, to which Sheik only responded with a laugh.

"No, not me." Sheik replied, "He's just around the corner. I'll send him up, but close your eyes. You'll know it's him when he kisses you." Zelda began to pout, but did as she was told. Seik then backed away and got Link. The hero was indeed nervous as he began to approach Zelda, What-Ifs running through his head at 100 miles an hour.

_Left foot, Right foot, left foot, right foot...OPPS. _Link looked up and noticed he had bumped into Zelda. "Watch where you're going, you idiot." She said without opening her eyes, "I'm waiting for a date here!". Link knew it was now or never. He quickly closed the gap between them and their lips locked. The kiss did not last long, as Zelda could not wait to find out who her date was, but once she opened her eyes, she instantly regretted doing so.

"LINK?! YOU'RE MY DATE?!" She instantly shot Sheik a death glare, as he was not too far from the two. "I told you what I think of this loser." She said to the Shikash coldly. With that, she turned, and headed in.

A lone tear rolled down Link's cheek before he ran into the wood, not caring where he was going. He ran for what seemed like forever, how long it was he could not tell. Was it seconds? Minutes? Hours? Links didn't know, everything was a blur now. He eventually just collapsed where he was and finally let the tears fly. _All that work...only to get rejected._ He thought. The state of pain, rejection, and depression finally caused Link to reach his solution. He reached intohis pocket and produced his longshot, and slowly put it to his head.

* * *

Well, that wasn't the happiest ending, but I wanted an unhappy ending for once...even though it isn't the most encoruaging. Opps.

Anyway, I hope to see you all in Mobius High! Check my profile for updates on my storys, and don't forget to R&R! ^-^


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